What New Moms Need to Hear

What new moms need to hear is that becoming a mom is an earthquake. A beautiful, transformative earthquake. Your identity shifts. Your sleep disappears. Your house starts collecting tiny socks in corners you didn’t know existed

 And it all feels so big—because it is.

There’s a lot I wish I could go back and whisper to my new-mom self. Mostly: “You’re doing great. Also, maybe… take a nap. Seriously.”

So in the spirit of honoring how far we’ve come, here are some honest, heartfelt, and slightly humorous reflections on what I wish I knew as a new mom.

1. You’re Not Failing. You’re Adjusting.

I used to think that if I wasn’t loving every second, I was doing something wrong. I’d look at other moms—on social media, in the park, in my imagination—and they all seemed to get it. Meanwhile, I was crying in the pantry while holding a baby who only stopped screaming when I did squats. (Why squats??)

If I could go back, I’d tell that version of me: “You’re not failing. You’re adjusting to something massive.”

It’s okay if it’s hard. It’s okay if you don’t love every moment. And it’s okay to admit that while you adore your baby, you also kinda miss going to the bathroom alone.

2. Sleep Isn’t Just a Luxury—It’s Mental Health

Sleep deprivation hits different when you’re a new mom. It’s not just tired—it’s “forgot-what-day-it-is-and-maybe-my-own-name” tired. And it impacts your mood, your perspective, your patience, and your ability to remember where you put the pacifier (spoiler: your bra).

As a therapist-run team, we talk about this a lot. Sleep isn’t selfish. It’s not optional. It’s a foundational part of mental health—and motherhood. And whether that means sharing night shifts, hiring help, or sleep training when you’re ready (we can help with that!), prioritizing sleep is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.

Need help getting back on track? Our sleep resources are here when you’re ready.

3. You’re Allowed to Want Something for You

It’s okay to still want something for you. A shower that lasts longer than 2 minutes. A dream you want to chase. A project that lights you up outside of diapers and snack cups.

We talk a lot about “losing ourselves” in motherhood, but what if we looked at it as an evolution? You’re not the same woman you were before—and that’s okay. Your capacity has grown, your priorities have shifted, but your dreams are still valid. You’re still in there. You’re just… also covered in yogurt most of the time.

4. Guilt Will Knock. Don’t Let It Move In.

Mom guilt is sneaky. It shows up when you miss bedtime for a girls’ night. When you sleep train. When you don’t sleep train. When you give them screen time so you can breathe. (Which, by the way, is fine.)

I wish I had understood earlier that guilt doesn’t always mean you’re doing something wrong. Sometimes it just means you’re doing something new.

So treat guilt like a door-to-door salesman: acknowledge it, then politely shut the door. You don’t owe it any explanations.

5. Connection > Perfection

The apartment was a mess. I was a mess. And my baby didn’t care.

She cared that I was there. That I looked into her eyes when I fed her. That I sang the same off-key lullaby for the 300th time. And I wish I had known that was enough.

She didn’t need a Pinterest-perfect nursery or organic everything. She needed a mom who was present more than perfect. And honestly, so did I.

6. You’re Allowed to Ask for Help

This is the one I had to learn the hard way.

Whether it’s asking your partner to take the baby for a walk so you can rest, or hiring a sleep consultant, or calling a therapist when everything feels too much—please, ask.

Being a mom doesn’t mean doing it all alone. It means building a support system that helps you thrive. Because moms deserve sleep. Moms deserve breaks. Moms deserve to feel good.

(Psst—our team of incredible sleep experts? Here for you whenever you’re ready.)

7. Your Baby Will Be Fine—Even If You’re Not Perfect

This one’s for the perfectionists. The “did I ruin them with that one time I yelled?” crowd. (Hi, welcome, sit down next to me.)

The truth is, children don’t need perfect parents. They need good enough parents—ones who are present, loving, and willing to repair when things go sideways.

You can mess up and still be amazing. You can have a rough day and still be deeply connected. You can love them fiercely and still need space.

And guess what? They’ll be okay. And so will you.

8. Celebrate Yourself, Too

Whether you’re in the newborn fog or you’ve finally started sleeping again, take a moment to celebrate yourself.

You made it through sleepless nights, developmental leaps, and emotional rollercoasters.

You’ve soothed, snuggled, advocated, nurtured, and LOVED with a depth you didn’t know was possible.

You are not the same woman you were before becoming a mom—and that’s something to honor.

So yes, soak in the sticky kisses and the spontaneous hugs. But also: invest in something that brings you peace, or joy, or just gives you a minute to yourself. Might we suggest a little sleep support? You deserve it.

Recap: What New Moms Need to Hear

What I wish I knew as a new mom is this—your love is enough. Your presence is enough. And even on your hardest days, you are still enough.

Motherhood isn’t about perfection. It’s about connection, growth, and showing up with as much love and grace as you can muster (plus caffeine).

If you’re in a season where things feel hard, or sleep is elusive, or you’re just wondering how you’re doing—know this: you are not alone. And if you want a little help getting things back on track, we’re here for you.

You’ve got this.