If you’ve ever typed “sleep training myths” into a search bar at 2 a.m., you know what’s out there: a black hole of opinions, fear-mongering, and strangers on Facebook warning that your child will end up in therapy because you didn’t rock them to sleep until college.
Let’s take a collective deep breath—and start over.
We’re moms, therapists, and baby sleep experts, and here’s what we know: you can absolutely sleep train with love, confidence, and zero damage to your child’s emotional well-being.
But first, let’s break up with the myths that keep parents stuck in a cycle of guilt and exhaustion. Because you deserve better. Your baby deserves better. And also? Sleep is not selfish.
Myth #1: Sleep Training = Cry It Out
Myth #2: Sleep Training Harms Attachment
Myth #3: Sleep Training = Trauma
Myth #4: You Have to Wait for the “Right Age”—and Then It’s Too Late
Myth #5: If It’s Not Working in 3 Days, It’s a Fail
Myth #6: A “Good Mom” Wouldn’t Need Sleep Training
Myth #1: Sleep Training = Cry It Out
Let’s just get this one out of the way.
No, sleep training does not mean you have to let your baby cry alone for hours. (We wouldn’t do that to you, promise.)
There are a ton of sleep training approaches, and we actually offer four different approaches that can be tailored to your family’s specific needs, values, and comfort level. Whether you’re looking for a super gentle method or a more structured strategy, you’ve got options—and support.
At its core, sleep training just means helping your baby learn how to fall asleep independently. You can absolutely do that with love, responsiveness, and a plan.
Myth #2: Sleep Training Harms Attachment
Oof. This one hits hard—and unfortunately, it’s everywhere.
Here’s the real deal: secure attachment isn’t built on how your child falls asleep. It’s built on thousands of interactions of consistent, loving, emotionally attuned caregiving every single day.
If your child knows they’re loved, safe, and supported—then you’re doing a great job.
Helping your baby learn independent sleep doesn’t mean you’re ignoring them or abandoning them. It means you’re giving them a skill that supports their development (and your sanity). And guess what? A well-rested baby—and a well-rested parent—are more emotionally regulated, more connected, and more joyful.
So yes, sleep training can actually strengthen your relationship.
Myth #3: Sleep Training = Trauma
We’ve seen the clickbait. “Cortisol levels! Brain damage! Emotional abandonment!”
Let’s clear that up.
Yes, babies may protest during sleep training. That’s because they’re learning and adjusting to a new skill.
But there’s no evidence that sleep training, done thoughtfully and with support, causes trauma. Brief periods of frustration are not the same as toxic stress.
In fact, building emotional resilience means allowing babies to experience manageable stress with a secure foundation of love and trust. That’s what you’re doing when you stay calm, confident, and consistent during sleep training.
Click here to watch clips from my interview with Tom Vaillant from The Pudding about the science behind sleep training.
Myth #4: You Have to Wait for the “Right Age”—and Then It’s Too Late
A lot of people think you have to wait until a certain age to start—and then if you missed that “window,” you’re out of luck. Not true!
We begin formal sleep training around 4 months, because that’s when babies start to show signs of readiness for longer stretches of independent sleep. But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck before that—or after that.
Before 4 months, you can still shape healthy sleep habits by:
- Following age-appropriate wake windows
- Creating a consistent bedtime routine
- Introducing soothing techniques that don’t rely solely on feeding to sleep
And if your baby is 7 months, 10 months, 16 months or even 3 years old? It’s not too late. It’s never too late to get better sleep. We support families with newborns, toddlers, and everything in between. Click here for personalized sleep support!
Click here to watch “Sleep Training Older Babies” on Instagram.
Myth #5: If It’s Not Working in 3 Days, It’s a Fail
We love a quick win. But sleep training isn’t always a straight line.
Some babies adjust in 3 nights. Some take a week. Others hit a regression, get sick, start teething—and need a reset.
This doesn’t mean your baby is broken or your method isn’t working. It just means you’re dealing with a tiny human, not a robot.
Progress over perfection is the goal. Stay consistent, track patterns, and if you’re feeling stuck—you’re not alone.
You can hop on a call with one of our amazing sleep consultants, who can walk you through the whole process, help troubleshoot anything tricky, and tailor the plan to your exact situation. Support makes a world of difference.
Myth #6: A “Good Mom” Wouldn’t Need Sleep Training
Let’s say this louder for the exhausted moms in the back: You can be a loving, responsive, amazing mom and still want more sleep.
Needing rest doesn’t mean you’re weak, selfish, or doing something wrong. It means you’re a human being with a nervous system that needs recovery time—especially during postpartum.
Wanting to sleep doesn’t mean you’re abandoning your baby. It means you’re caring for yourself and your child. And giving your baby the skill of independent sleep? That’s not giving up—that’s empowerment.
Myth #7: You’ll Regret It
We hear this one a lot from nervous parents: “What if I do it wrong? What if I traumatize my baby? What if I regret it forever?”
But here’s what most parents say after sleep training:
“I wish I’d done this sooner.”
Once you experience a full night of sleep, once your baby starts going down without a 90-minute routine of bouncing and shushing and slow dances around the living room—you’ll realize this isn’t just about sleep. It’s about reclaiming peace, predictability, and confidence.
And we’re not saying everyone has to sleep train. But if you want to? You absolutely can. And you won’t regret choosing rest.
Click here to read an excerpt pulled straight from my book about this topic on Instagram.
So What Does Sleep Training Actually Look Like?
It might look like:
- A predictable bedtime routine
- Matching your baby’s wake windows
- Gently reducing sleep associations (like feeding or rocking to sleep)
- Offering consistent responses that support independent sleep
It might also look like:
- Fewer tears (theirs and yours)
- More confidence at bedtime
- A family that’s finally getting the rest they need
Recap of Sleep Training Myths
Sleep training isn’t cruel. It isn’t selfish. It isn’t lazy.
It’s a loving, intentional decision that can lead to more rest, more connection, and a healthier rhythm for your family.
So let’s toss the sleep training myths. They’re heavy, outdated, and you don’t need them anymore.
You’re allowed to want sleep. You’re allowed to make changes. And most of all—you’re doing a great job.
If you need support with your baby’s specific sleep needs or want to troubleshoot with an expert, we would love to work with you. Hop on a call with one of our AMAZING Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultants!
Whether your little one is a newborn (0-4 Months Content Library), 4-24 months (4-24 Months Content Library), or a toddler (2-5 Years Content Library), we have the resources you need to get your family the sleep you all deserve!
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