Ah…the infamous toddler bedtime battle. You know the drill. You finish the bedtime routine—bath, jammies, books, songs, lights out. You’re about to claim your evening when a tiny voice calls out, “Can I have one more sip of water?”
Two minutes later, it’s “Just one more hug?” And then, somehow, you’re 45 minutes deep into an emotional hostage negotiation over a fourth bedtime story and the special blanket that lives in the car.
This is the dreaded “One More Thing” toddler bedtime battle. And while it may seem innocent (and sometimes even sweet), it can snowball into a nightly routine of stall tactics and overtired meltdowns. Let’s fix that.
In this blog post, we’ll go over:
How to Break the Cycle (With Love and Consistency)
Why It Happens
First, a little perspective: Your toddler or preschooler isn’t trying to manipulate you (even if it feels that way at 8:45 p.m.). Their brains are growing rapidly, their sense of independence is exploding, and they’re wired to test boundaries.
Also, bedtime is a big separation. It’s a long stretch away from you. Asking for one more thing can be their way of saying, “I still need a little more connection and reassurance.”
How to Break the Cycle (With Love and Consistency)
1. Set Clear Expectations Ahead of Time
Before bedtime even begins, explain what the routine will look like:
- 1 bath
- 2 books
- 3 kisses
- Lights out
Use a calm, confident tone and let your child know what to expect. You can even ask them to repeat it back to you. When kids know what’s coming, they’re less likely to push the boundaries.
2. Use a Visual Schedule
Kids thrive on routine, but their memories (and sense of time) aren’t fully developed. That’s where a visual bedtime schedule can be a game-changer.
Our printable visual schedule walks your child through each step of the bedtime routine in a simple, fun way. It helps reduce anxiety, builds confidence, and gives them a sense of control. Bonus: It also cuts down on negotiations because the schedule becomes the boss.
Click here to watch “The Key to a Successful Toddler Bedtime” on Instagram!
3. Offer Choices Within Boundaries
To give your child a sense of autonomy, build in some decision-making before the final goodnight.
Examples:
- “Do you want to brush your teeth first or pick your pajamas first?”
- “Which book should we read tonight?”
- “Do you want two kisses or three?”
Giving your child some control upfront often reduces the urge to stall later.
4. Create a Bedtime Basket
Sometimes those “one more thing” requests are legit: a stuffed animal, a sip of water, an extra nightlight. You can prevent this by creating a “bedtime basket” that lives by the bed. It can include:
- A stuffed animal
- A water bottle
- A flashlight or glow toy
- A favorite blanket
- Anything else they often ask for
When everything they might need is already nearby, it removes their excuse to keep calling out.
5. Validate AND Hold the Boundary
Here’s the magic combo: acknowledge their feelings and stick to your guns.
Example:
- “I know you really want one more book because you love reading together. It’s so special. But tonight we already read two, and now it’s time for sleep. We’ll read more in the morning.”
Empathy paired with firmness = confidence for you and your child.
6. Use an “Ok to Wake” Clock
If your child is getting up after lights-out, a color-changing toddler clock can help reinforce sleep cues. Red light means stay in bed, green light means it’s okay to get up.
It’s especially helpful for early risers who think 4:45 a.m. is a reasonable start to the day.
7. Don’t Engage in the Negotiations
Once you say goodnight, try not to re-enter the room unless it’s an emergency. Every time you respond to “one more thing,” you’re unintentionally reinforcing the behavior.
You can use a scripted, calm phrase like:
- “It’s bedtime. I love you. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Repeat it once, then no more talking. Keep it boring and brief. Eventually, the pattern will fade.
Nothing Seems to Work…HELP!
Toddlers have strong will and strong opinions—and it’s so much fun! That doesn’t mean it isn’t always easy.
The key to success during these years is to set and maintain appropriate boundaries while embracing and honoring their individuality. In the 2-5 year content library (in-depth guides & Toddler Essentials Video Course) you will learn how to do this while navigating power struggles, bedtime battles, transitioning to a big kid bed, night wake-ups, daycare, and much more! Click here to check it out for yourself.
Recap of Toddler Bedtime Battles
The “One More Thing” routine is one of the most common bedtime struggles we see—but with a few simple changes, you can shift bedtime from battle to bliss (or at least, much less chaos).
If you want a head start, grab our bedtime visual schedule! It’s designed to help kids feel safe, in control, and confident heading into bedtime—without the endless list of demands.
Or, if you want a sleep expert in your corner to troubleshoot with, book a 30 or 60 minute consultation with one of our amazing consultants! They’ve seen it all and solved it all!
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