Who else watched Taylor Swift’s boyfriend perform at the Usher concert this past Sunday? WHOOPS…I definitely meant, the Superbowl. Same thing! Anyway, remember that awkward moment when in the heat of the competition Taylor’s boyfriend (Travis Kelce) got right up in his coach’s face, causing him to lose his balance and stumble a bit?
Of course, you remember it. Because even if you didn’t watch the Superbowl, I am certain that you saw the image ALL over social media the next day. As for my own Instagram, the iconic snapshot inspired this meme:
Click here to check out the rest of this post on Instagram.
If you have a toddler, I know that you know EXACTLY how much of a struggle sleep suddenly becomes at a certain age. If only they understood the true beauty and pure bliss that is naptime and getting to bed early.
Know that while toddler power struggles are a totally normal and natural thing, there are still things we can do to make them a little easier and even eliminate them.
In this blog post, I’ll go over the following questions:
Why do toddler power struggles happen?
What do I do when toddler power struggles affect their sleep?
How can I make naps and bedtime go more smoothly with my toddler?
Let’s dive right in!
Why do toddler power struggles happen?
One of the best parts of having a toddler is getting to watch their personalities grow. The whole thing is just so much fun and so adorable! Do not be disheartened if your toddler starts to test the limits or push some boundaries along the way. Try thinking about it as a good thing! Does this sound crazy?? Let me explain…
Related Reading: Supporting Highly Sensitive Children
Developing a personality also means learning what you like, and what you want, and trying to figure out how to get it. As their parents, we know what’s really best for them. The trick is to find that middle ground. We want to work WITH them. You can help your toddler understand the strength that comes with their personality, and foster that empowerment so that it’s directed appropriately.Â
Next time you’re caught in the middle of a toddler power struggle, take a second to stop and decipher what the meltdown is really about. We don’t have to give them what they want at that moment. That’s not the point. But, we CAN validate their feelings (they’re just starting to learn what these things are!), and redirect their behavior.Â
What do I do when toddler power struggles affect their sleep?
It is totally normal for toddlers to suddenly start protesting naptime. They often have bouts of separation anxiety, FOMO, and sleep regression behavior which can ALL result in protesting sleep.Â
Toddlers tend to protest sleep more often and consistently than other power struggles. Once again, we want to find that “middle ground”…a way to acknowledge what they want while still holding firm boundaries for what you know they need. We do this by giving them an element of control.Â
Here are a few examples:Â
Your boundary: Teeth must be brushed before bed
Their choice: Bubblegum or peppermint toothpaste?
Your boundary: Where a pull-up to bed
Their choice: Which character pull-up do they want to wear that night?
Your boundary: Be in bed by 8:00 pm
Their choice: Which jammies they want to wear, what song they want to sing, etc.?
When it IS time for you to leave their room, and if the protesting persists, you validate AND hold your firm boundary. For example, if your toddler wants more snuggle time (but it’s ABSOLUTELY bedtime – like you’ve been at this for long enough and it’s almost 11:00 pm bedtime), you get down on their level and validate. “I’d love to snuggle all night…I love snuggling with you! But it’s time for us to go to sleep…let’s snuggle again in the morning!”
You can recognize their wants and needs while still explaining to them the reason you held your boundary – we all need to get to sleep, and we can pick up where we left off tomorrow.
How can I make naps and bedtime go more smoothly with my toddler?
The answer is simple. Choices. Growing a personality means growing autonomy. Along with the power to choose, we know that toddlers also thrive off of consistency, predictability, being engaged, and having positive connections with their caregivers. Enter: having a consistent routine…they they are involved in!
Click here to checkout and purchase the Toddler Bedtime visual Schedule.Â
This Toddler Bedtime Visual Schedule is 100% customizable to fit the components of YOUR little one’s bedtime routine. You just have to print it out and glue on the different visuals that apply to their personalized routine.
Using a visual schedule with your toddler will…
- Foster consistency and predictability for your toddler
- Contribute to bedtime being engaging
- Create a healthy positive connection
- Is highly accessible too as it uses visuals
- Promote independence
Your visual schedule will be most effective if you go over it with your toddler BEFORE naps and bedtime as well as referencing it during the actual process of their routine. Encouraging your toddler to be involved in the process and showering them with positive reinforcement as they complete pieces of their routine will pay off.Â
After all, the boundary you really care about is getting them to sleep in their own sleep space. They’re doing just that, and feeling like they’re in control along the way.
Click here to watch Nolan and I build her Toddler Bedtime Visual schedule together.
Recap on Toddler Power Struggles and Sleep
If your toddler’s face looks like Travis Kelce’s in the meme I posted, don’t be scared! I know that toddler power struggles can be stressful and overwhelming. But this won’t last forever! As hard as I know it might be in the moment if you can try to reframe your thinking and see their many toddler breakdowns as evidence of their personalities developing, it might make it a little easier on you.
And there ARE things you can do during toddlerhood to make it a little easier on both of you! Just remember, validate their feelings, help redirect them, keep your boundaries firm, and give them plenty of choices.
And we can help you with this! I have a team of AMAZING certified pediatric sleep consultants who can be in your corner supporting you through your unique sleep situation. Click here to grab a consultation with one of them!
In the 2-5 Years Content Library, you’ll learn more about how to eliminate toddler power struggles, their new big emotions, AND how to preserve sleep along the way. With it, you’ll get lifetime access to 15+ PDF guides as well as the Toddler Bedtime Visual Schedule!
PS – I have more toddler sleep-specific blogs that might also be helpful to check out:
- Sleep Regression and Separation Anxiety: How to Maintain Boundaries While Being Responsive
- 24 Month Sleep Regression: Everything You Need to Know to Survive It!
- What to Do About Your Toddler Waking Up Too Early
- “Sleep Training” for Naps: Getting Good Solid Naps for Your Baby or Toddler
Whether your little one is a newborn (0-4 Months Content Library), 4-24 months (4-24 Months Content Library), or a toddler (2-5 Years Content Library), we have the resources you need to get your family the sleep you all deserve!
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