Understanding Inherent Self Worth: Part 1 of the ‘Self-Acceptance Series’
As a therapist, I have this conversation CONSTANTLY with clients: Self-worth.
Everyone wrestle with the question “Am I worth it?”
It seems like we measure our worth through checks and balances, that our assets and weaknesses define us, that they are our currency for self-worth.
But that’s not the case!
Our self-worth is static, stable, and always there. We have undeniable worth no matter what.
Some people don’t understand how you don’t have to quantify worth, or just flat out reject this. “How can we be inherently worth something?”
Let me explain.
When I was pregnant with my youngest, I was throwing up for 20 weeks, developed a pelvic disorder where my hips were literally dislocated for 4 months, and a plethora of other problems that come with pregnancy. Then there’s the actual birthing of my child, and when she’s out she’s going to continue to (let’s be honest) leech nutrients out of my body, and not to mention the sleepless nights.
The checks and balances are way off, right? Before she’s even born, she’s WAY in the “negative”.
Except when they lay her on my chest for the first time, she’s just perfect. After everything I went through, everything that I’m going to go through, I think “I love her so much” and I would die for her in an instant.
Anyone can look at a newborn baby and see that they have undeniable worth. If we come into the world with this undeniable worth, then when does that change? All the “negatives” that come with newborns doesn’t change their worth, and it doesn’t make sense that all that undeniable worth would just go away as they grew up.
If we start with this firm foundation that we all have this inherent self-worth, then we will love ourselves more, and give ourselves more grace and patience.
We’re all just trying to be our best selves, and when you realize that you have inherent worth, you can spread that grace and patience to others.