As moms, we’re ALL trying our best. There are HUNDREDS of different ways to be a parent and no way is the “best way”. Yes, I know that everyone has an opinion about crying it out as a way to help your baby sleep through the night. And, it’s easy nowadays to just go on social media to add your two cents and to tell people that they’re doing it “wrong”.
Let’s not mom shame each other about crying it out!
Mom Knows Best, Don’t Listen to the Rest
Shaming a tired mom simply doesn’t help anyone. The truth is that every mom is doing what’s best for her child. Furthermore, chances are very high that baby is going to turn out fine regardless which sleep training method their parents choose! Everyone’s parenting styles are different, and every child’s needs are different.
And more importantly: we’re all going to make mistakes! We’re all going to screw up our kids in our own unique way and that’s fine! It’s going to happen, trust me.
Let’s all be kind and be supportive!
Motherhood is hard enough without other moms forcing their judgment onto you.
Motherhood is a journey and we’re all going at our own pace.
Crying It Out: Let’s Talk About It
Let’s talk about crying it out as a baby sleep training method. You’re tired and you want your baby to sleep through the night. The idea of sleeping all night sounds sooooo good, but you’re worried about other moms judging you or about damaging your child from letting them “cry it out.”
The truth is, there’s a lot of crying it out hating that happens. However, crying it out is so misunderstood!
Yes, you can do it wrong, but inherently crying it out is not damaging and it’s not bad for attachment. (Check out my blog series about attachment-based sleep training)
Number 1 Takeaway About Cry It Out:
If you can tune into your baby’s needs, make a sleep schedule, and prevent overtiredness, sleep training your infant will be so much easier.
Crying it out is just a way to have your baby learn to self soothe. It is SO important for kids to learn how to self soothe. Helping a baby learn to calm themselves in a loving, realistic way will help with sleep training, and life in general, going forward.
It doesn’t do our children any good if we are overly responsive to their wants and desires. We, of course, respond to our kids’ needs, but our kids need to learn early on how to deal basically.
Using cry it out is a subtle shift of us saying “you’ve got this”, “I love you, and am here for you” and “I know you can handle this and I’m going to let you”.
Remember this about sleep, Momma:
If baby is getting sleep, their lives will be so much better. And when you get enough sleep so will yours.
If you do cry it out and get hate for it, stay strong!
YOU know what’s best for your baby. And you’ll also see the results immediately: a happy, well-rested baby.
You shouldn’t start letting baby cry it out until about 4 months, and not stopping night feedings until after 9 months. So during that time, figure out your baby’s needs so when they are ready for crying it out, you can know when they need to cry it out or they really need you.
Be patient, be kind, and be there for your fellow mom!
Xoxo,
Chrissy
The Peaceful Sleeper: Personalized, Expert Sleep Services for the Whole Family
As an infant sleep consultant, I’m on a mission to help your entire family sleep better. Are you sick of feeling groggy and foggy? I also offer a variety of sleep training resources for baby sleep training including 25 affordable sleep training guides and a newborn sleep essential course. I even offer an online adult insomnia course based on effective CBT-I principles to help the adults win the household sleep better. Lastly, I offer individual sleep consultations and even an exclusive executive sleep package for maximum sleep training support.
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